Forty years ago today, my Dad bought my Mom yellow roses to celebrate my birth. He never bought yellow roses again until I graduated from college. I carried a dozen three years later on my wedding day, and the last time he bought them was 12 years ago: May 16, 1997, my Ph.D. commencement and my 28th birthday.
My Dad passed away on April 25, 2007 so I won’t be receiving yellow roses on the day I turn forty. I will be attending another Commencement, but not my own. Today is the Macalester College Class of 2009 Commencement. I know the graduates can’t imagine what they will feel like 18 years from now.Like me, they will have regrets, but to paraphrase Sinatra, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention. Instead I’ll share the ten things I’d do again:
- Go on that blind date in 1993
- Talk to my mother and take her advice
- Accept that wearing a size six between the ages 22 and 32 was a good run
- Surround Austin with love and dignity
- Ensure that Avi never heard the expression “light skinned” or “good hair”
- Trust that Zach would complete our family
- Have two real friends
- Write down everything I wanted to say to my dad before he passed away, and say it
- Cry with my students
- Do it my way
Class of 2009, live your dream and if you have a child do something special for them on the day they’re born. They will never forget, even when they’re old and forty.
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